DRUGZ

People often refer to the internet as a drug, but ya know what's like drugs? Drugs. What if some of your favorite internet portal web zones were like the real drugs you're probably enjoying right now? Let's take a look.

Twitter = Crack

Do you want to know what's going on, AND YOU WANT TO KNOW RIGHT THE FUCK NOW? Then Twitter is for you. Twitter is full of instantly updating totally useless updates of user generated status updates. It's exactly like crack because it's about instant gratification. Sure, you can send out an update about the sick new shoes you brought to all of your friends, but who really cares after the moment they found out they got a notification? It's all but a fleeting high, that can be silenced with the next tweet, but for how long?

Facebook = Heroin

Sup bro? Are you on facebook? Have you found yourself uttering this same seemingly harmless but all too scary question lately? What you are really doing is feeding an addiction that has no end. Facebook has become an extremely vapid, useless, yet seemingly necessary waste of time in our every day lives. When you start on facebook you think you're actually connecting with people but even by adding new real friends we're continuously adding to the endless stream of possible communication opportunities wasted and lost inside the net. These totally simple and easy salutations are considered more valuable than Jonas Bros. tickets. But in reality you're posting on walls for people to read when no one really cares, updating status' to anyone with a reloading web browser and dutiful fingers. Tossing our real life friends on the internet back burner for some Mafia Wars and picture comments when all we need is some attention. We are truly chasing the dragon.

Google = Acid

Check this shit out. Whatever you want bro. It's whatever you want it to be. Want to watch some videos? Cool bro, let's watch some videos. Want to find that song you used to love that you heard on the way to your friend Mike's birthday party at the reptile museum when you were 12? Got it. Did you ever wonder how many people out there there are who are color blind? Let's find out. What the fuck are the seeds on strawberries called? With google the world is your oyster, and it's all in front of you to find. But don't believe in false prophets, you still are entering all the search queries, so it's only as fun as you are.

Youtube = E

When else have you ever actually sat down and watched recorded videos of cats? Youtube has provided endless amounts of entertainment for all of us, but what are we enjoying? It's almost as if we love whatever is on Youtube, as long as it makes it's way on the tube we'll roll with it. But maybe that's the problem, we'll just end up losing ourselves while we giggle to fake rap videos and talk about how the this user made music video really matches up that Mastodon song with Happy Feet. Mindless entertainment at it's finest.

Digg = Weed

When you go onto digg.com, you're treated with random news stories but also you're top 10. It is here where we find the connection to that green herb. When you get high, you're constantly thinking about new ideas, but always about things you've seen before. It's kind of like Digg in the fact that you can always read about topics you want, and always learn something new, which maybe you don't need weed for, but I'm stoned so I win.

- Justin